'I wish I'd seen her sooner, but I couldn't reach her'

Editor's Note: For Mother's Day, The News-Times met with three Danbury women who were not raised by their biological mothers but forged a strong maternal bond with someone else.

In some ways, another Danbury resident, Sandy Boluch , was just as fortunate in finding a new home.

Boluch, now 49 and with a family of her own, was essentially abandoned as soon as she was born at a hospital in New Bedford, Mass.

"I was put up for adoption immediately," Boluch said last week. "My mother left the hospital without me."

Boluch's mother was a widow with other children. Her biological father was already married.

Within a month, state social workers found another couple in New Bedford, Walter and Charlotte Brightman , who were willing to adopt Boluch. The Brightmans had earlier adopted another child, a boy named David.

Boluch's childhood was spent mostly on the move, because her adopted father traveled regularly in his business as a company sales manager.

"I went to about 14 different schools," Boluch recalled last week.

At a high school in Fairfield, Boluch met a boy named Alan who sat in front of her and would become her future husband.

Sandy and Alan Boluch were married in 1978, had their first child, Elizabeth, in 1982, and moved to Danbury in 1993. They had a second child, a boy named Alex, two years ago.

Ironically, Sandy Boluch has spent much of her life working as a children's and teacher's aide and private nanny.

"I like working with children," Boluch said. "I've always had a lot of satisfaction being around them."

Although Boluch's birth parents are both dead, she was unknowingly near her biological mother at a family funeral in 1987.

"There was a woman standing behind me and I kept turning around, thinking it was someone I knew," Boluch said. "Somehow she looked familiar, but when I turned back to talk to her my father dragged me away, saying there was someone he wanted me to meet."

Two years later, Boluch discovered that the woman at the funeral was her biological mother.

Ultimately, when Boluch decided to go it alone to find her birth mother, she discovered the woman and three of her daughters had been holding prayer meetings to find Boluch.

In the end, neither side met. By the time Boluch was close to contacting the family in 1989, her birth mother died.

"I wish I'd seen her sooner, but I couldn't reach her," Boluch said. "Sometimes I wonder how the heck she could have left me, but I suppose she wanted a better life for me because times were hard for my mother when I was born."

Boluch said although her adoptive parents first had mixed reactions to her attempts to find her biological roots, they later accepted it.

"It improved our relationship," Boluch said.

Boluch's father died last year at age 80. Her mother, now 78, is living in Florida.

"They gave me a good home and they were good parents," Boluch said. "I think it's helped me to try to be a loving mother."