Letter: Democrats upset about missing campaign signs
Published 9:57 pm, Wednesday, October 12, 2016
To the Editor:
It has started already.
Up a week, and gone.
It happens every campaign season: Democratic candidates put up signs, and they vanish in the night.
So here is everything you need to know about stealing signs and some modest proposals to explain this strange campaign season phenomenon.
Theory One: Fewer Democrats live on main roads, so signs for Democratic candidates are rare collector’s items.
After all, just look at those Ohler signs, as frequent as crab grass, from a man who hasn’t mastered any of the issues that made Roberta Willis indispensable to her district.
Folks can’t wait to get a hold of rare Democratic signs and plant them in their cabin in the woods, where they can get to admire them all the time.
Of course, this theory doesn’t hold up too well when Democratic campaign signs are burned to the ground.
Theory Two: Democrats are wimps, afraid to be caught stealing signs.
Republicans are red-blooded Americans who know the way the system works.
Just as the man at the head of their ticket, Mr. Trump, says, it’s about taking what you can get, making the system work for you.
If you can’t hire a top notch tax lawyer, you go out at night, in the dark.
Theory Three: This is the Republican candidate’s understanding of democracy: if I can put signs up, I can take them down.
It’s all about me and what I can get away with.
What I can get away with shows how smart I am, not like the rest of folks out there who aren’t smart enough to game the system, or are foreigners.
Well, here’s another interpretation of democracy.
Democracy is about voting.
It is about reading about candidates, and issues, and where they stand on issues.
It is about filling out a ballot and voicing your views through the ballot box.
We don’t need to worry about the people who drive around at night destroying campaign material.
All we have to do is go out and vote.